Guilt (Poem)

My best friend,

I’m sorry for my detachment.

We haven’t seen each other In quite some time.

This widespread pandemic

Is not the sole culprit

Of a disease plaguing me.

My friend, I always try

To make you laugh.

But it’s getting arduous

To get out bed,

To read messages,

To respond back.

Sometimes I refuse

Bathing for a week

Or brushing my teeth.

Filth gathering on

Dead skin and crevices,

Cavities growing in roots.

But nothing is worse than

A capability to upset you.

I miss you, my friend.

I’m sorry if you feel alone

When I lose my strength.

I’m scared to lose you too.

I wonder if you ever feel alone

Or hate me for my silence.

I would, if I were you.

I wonder if you know

How much you mean to me.

I wouldn’t, if I were you.

But I’m not you.

You’re far too forgiving,

And loving, and kind.

Thank you, my friend

For being so forgiving,

And loving, and kind.

This is an apology, my friend,

And a statement--a promise.

Regardless if I seem distant,

Isolated in a remote place,

I am at arm’s reach to you.

Call me for help, say my name.

Say it without shame because

You’re my best friend,

And I love you, my friend.